Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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