Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So many bounce houses so little time
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
