yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
