So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Are we in a gay sports bar?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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