Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
