Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
