Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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