My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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