considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
