based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
