then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
