Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize