Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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