She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm at about main and main street
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
