I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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