I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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