their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
