.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize