i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
