Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm bleeding and have questions
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
