So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
