So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
