You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
there is glitter all over my balls
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
