I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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