i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize