We named our party play list daddy issues
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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