She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
