WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
