I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
