So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
