were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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