you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
