You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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