South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I look better un-naked...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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