omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
