He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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