just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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