he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
