He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
