Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
