Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
