some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The adults are the big ones right?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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