nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize