thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever