So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
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I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
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at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.