Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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