Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
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he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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