just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
