I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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