We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
