I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you mean i was at the winter classic?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Terrible idea I love it
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
