She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
