I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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