His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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