Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
