I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
