I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
