Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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