I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
