I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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