Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
