speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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